I’ve been struggling for awhile with how to write this next post.
Life transitions are hard – that’s not news – but how much should you share? Who wants to read something negative? But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve reminded myself that positive or negative, people just want to read something honest. So here’s the truth.
This has been really, really hard – much harder than we anticipated. It’s for reasons that we know are temporary, and circumstances that we know will improve – but day to day, we just keep hoping for more wins than losses.
When we moved aboard three weeks ago (almost four now, wow!), we unknowingly moved ourselves onto a boat that needed a big refit. Issues that we knew needed attention turned into bigger projects, new systems quit on us, problems that we thought we had fixed reoccurred. I say we, but Aaron has taken the brunt of this. As much as I need and want to learn all of these systems, right now, there isn’t time for him to be both teacher and engineer/mechanic. So he focuses mainly on executing, while I focus mainly on the daily running of the household.
Just to name a few “challenges,” our new air conditioning quit on us multiple times. The refrigerator quit with a full grocery shop of food. The freezer seemed to be a lost cause. The shower didn’t work. Outlets were miswired and non-functional. We had a small water leak in the engine room, a fuel leak in the generator. The list goes on.
For those of you who have lived through remodeling your own home, it’s like that – except that every time you need to fix or work on anything, you have to rip apart your entire living space to do it. With three people living aboard, it gets really cramped really fast. Imagine eating dinner in your woodshop, or working on the engine to your car in your bedroom.
And it means that any free time that we don’t intentionally assign to down time gets sucked away just with solving problems – not to mention work deadlines, making meals, doing dishes and laundry. You know, life. We have never earned our sleep more, and never slept harder.
The other part of the equation that’s been increasingly frustrating is our location. We absolutely made the right decision to stay here – we were 100% not ready to move the boat anywhere – but Riviera Beach has not been an easy adjustment, especially since we returned the rental car. There’s nothing within walking distance, and strangely enough, there really isn’t much within dinghying or biking distance either. So even when we find a window of opportunity to take a break, the options have been limited. It’s made the transition from our prior life to this one that much more extreme.
If I’m being brutally honest, there have been moments when I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and just go back to what’s easy. Just moments, though.
I don’t mean to paint this all as doom and gloom – it’s certainly not. It’s funny – at least a few people have asked, “How is Claire doing with all of this?” The best of the three of us, by far. The weather gods have been quite grumpy the last few days, and I just realized this evening that she hasn’t been off the boat, except for right on our dock, in two full days, and you’d never know it with how happy she’s been. Sure, she’s used to someone playing with her all the time, be that classmates at school or friends during playdates, so she wants constant attention, and we are working on that. But for the most part, build that kiddo a fort and put out tea for her stuffed animals and she’s content.
I’m trying to keep a positive attitude and remind myself that this is not what our life is going to look like. We will always have work that needs doing, it’s the nature of owning a boat, but it won’t be all-encompassing. For me, the impetus of this life change was the adventure, traveling, meeting new people, taking to the sea! We haven’t even tossed the lines once yet. But we will, we will. We will get there.
Slowly, the wins are starting to overcome the losses. The fridge and freezer are now working, the shower is finally working, leaks have been fixed. The air conditioning is running smoothly and we are just now getting to the point where we can put down-below projects on hold for a bit while we get the topsides ready for sailing.
Our month here is up in a week and a half, and then we’ll cast lines, fill the sails and make our way up to Fort Pierce. Somehow, I just know that once I feel the wind on my face and the waves on our bow, I’ll be recharged, ready to tackle whatever comes next.