Sometimes, you just need to rip off the Band-Aid.
Now that I’m sitting here, fully moved into our temporary home and with all of my comforting things around me (namely a warm mug of coffee), I can calmly look back on the last week and just laugh.
We signed the rental agreement for our temporary home a week ago. We got actual tangible confirmation that the close on the condo was happening on Wednesday – less than 24 hours before our movers were scheduled to arrive. We moved all day Thursday, settled in on Friday while waiting for the all clear from our realtor and attorney on the closing, and on Saturday, we all slept in from utter exhaustion.
This. Move. Was. Insane.
I’m sure plenty of you who have been through a real estate closing before know that these things can happen last minute, and that most of the time things fall into place. I have not, so the uncertainty was eating away at my sanity. But I also noticed that it had another effect on me.
It allowed me to continue to nest at our condo, even with all of the boxes around, even with things scheduled as best they could be. There was still the smallest bit of uncertainty in the back of my mind, that if it all falls through, we won’t be moving, so I hadn’t fully let go. I was nostalgic. I was mourning the potential loss of our home while still being tethered to it. I was worried that I wouldn’t handle the transition well. I was sleep-deprived.
But an amazing thing, at least to me, happened. As everything was hauled out on Thursday, I started to feel better. Still appreciating our place and all of the memories that were created there, all of the dreams that were born there. But it felt right. It was time. Looking back, I realize now that I couldn’t really get excited about this next chapter and truly embrace it until we were out of there.
In general, I don’t handle big changes as well as I’d like to admit. I get stuck in the comfort of my routines and my surroundings. And sometimes, I make the mistake of believing that my hangups are shared by others. Claire has taught me so much in this move already; I am so unbelievably proud of her. We tried to explain to her as much as possible what was happening and allow her to ask questions and process things in her own way and in her own time. We showed her the condo after everything had been cleared out and let her say goodbye to her room.
Though she seemed sad in some of our initial conversations, Aaron and I quickly realized that she thought that none of her things were coming with her. When we explained that of course her favorite toys would come with us, her whole mood shifted from sadness to excitement – especially about our end goal of living on a boat. From our very first night in the temporary place, she’s been a gem. As long as Aaron and I are there, as long as she has some of her familiar things, she is happy – it doesn’t matter where we are. Even Tink handled the transition amazingly well, settling in to her usual all-day nap routine after a day or two of intense sniffing and exploring.
All that matters is that we are together as a family. The rest is just details. And stuff. So. Much. Stuff.
When we scheduled the movers, I thought for sure we’d be able to knock out the move in three hours, four hours max. We had already gotten rid of so much! But more than six hours later, after the job was finally completed, we realized we have so much more work to do. And with the weight of all of the uncertainty lifted, I’m ready for the task.
Things that seemed so important to me as I was sitting around them at the condo just don’t matter anymore. What matters is continuing to shed the weight to get us toward the end game. Though going through all of our possessions was so overwhelming and oftentimes miserable for me even a week ago, I’m looking forward to it now. I see the need for it.
The condo was my security blanket. I had no idea that getting out from under it would feel so freeing.
For the next two months, there’s a lot of work to be done – but SUCH FUN WORK! Let’s ditch all of this stuff that we don’t need! Let’s find a boat! Let’s finish out Aaron’s full-time contract and Claire’s school year and GET GOING!
Turning your whole life inside out … what an amazing rush.